The Wingnuttiest

great story i read about jamie mclennan's days with the islanders:

In the first game things are going rather smoothly, with McLennan's team leading. But, when they took to the ice after the second period McLennan headed towards his net only to find the mascot for the Baby Leafs standing in his crease.
"I skate up and ask him to move because I wanted to scrape my crease. He's giving me the big taunt and fans are into it. I didn't know what to do. I asked him to move and he wouldn't. Anyway I gave him a little shove and he finally moved away," said McLennan.
McLennan's team won the game 5-2 and he felt he had played pretty well. When he met with Smith after the game he was probably expecting some positive reinforcement. Instead he got a tongue lashing.
"He was furious that I didn't attack the mascot," said McLennan.
The coach of the team was Butch Goring, another Islander favourite. McLennan wasn't sure what to think of this mascot ordeal and was hoping that Goring would decide to play the team's other goalie so he wouldn't have to deal with the issue.
"But, sure enough on Wednesday, a day before the game he tells me I am playing," said McLennan.
"I thought about the mascot all night," he laughed.
Sure enough the mascot was in his crease again, just like he was two nights earlier.
"I full bored on him and cross-checked him right into the net," said McLennan.
The team lost that night 4-1.
'We lose the game and afterward Billy Smith is smiling away. He was like a proud father. I was terrible in the net but I had attacked the mascot so he was thrilled."
posted by Mike at 12:13 PM

Well we're into finals now and that means we all have to work 3 or even 4 times as hard to procrastinate, and as a result i bring to you:
My NFL All-Steals Team
this is with respect to late round picks that panned out well for their teams

QB: Starter Tom Brady (6th round - 199th overall) Backup Trent Green (8th round - 222nd overall)

RB: Starter Stephen Davis (4th round - 102nd overall) Backup Chad Morton (5th Round - 166th overall)

WR: Starters Joe Horn (5th - 135th), Troy Brown (8th - 198th), Dante Hall (5th - 153rd) and Donald Driver (7th - 213rd)

TE: Starter Frank Wycheck (6th - 160th) Backup Jay Riemersma (7th - 244th)

FB: Starter Sam Gash (8th - 205th)

to make this team a player had to go after the 100th pick in the draft....comming soon: nhl all-steals team
posted by Mike at 7:08 PM

"ugh, it sounds like shes hitting a baby with a cat"
"no, you have to listen to the notes shes not playing"
"i could do that from home"

hahaha classic
posted by Mike at 11:39 PM

anyone see the end of the colts / pats game?!.....damn that was great, manning and james stopped 4 times at the goal line with time running out.....superbowl bound........GO PATS!!
posted by Mike at 4:31 PM

"The New England Patriots are the best team in the National Football League"
- Terry Bradshaw
posted by Mike at 1:38 PM

I give you the formula to make perfect toast:

i'm not kidding a team of researchers came up with this
posted by Mike at 6:09 PM

random sports thoughts:

- if the patriots beat indy this weekend i say they're gonna go all the way....of course i'm gonna say that anyway, its gonna be a good game
- moss vs. holt this weekend too....i'm hoping they put on a TD catching clinic
- wings / oilers game this week was great...early darkhorse heart trophy candidate in steve yzerman, says i
- thumbs up to the thrashers on the good looking 3rd jersey
- kim st. pierre is the first woman to win a mens cis hockey game.....i hope she can make the next step and be effective (and not overseas)
- anyone watching tsn or listening to the fan has probably heard pierre mcguire talking about putting draper and maltby on canada's world cup team and i for one have his back on that plan....and red line removal too!
- there has also been talk about allowing a nation to have more than one team entered in the world cup and other international competitons, most people are against it, but i say if canada's 2nd and even 3rd teams are good enough to make it through qualifiying then tough rocks to belarus or the US or whoever gets displaced...we dominate the game like no ones business, lets take it to em
- chris bosh owns....rookie of the year....thats right i said it again!
peace i'm out
posted by Mike at 10:27 PM

Mike's Beef of the Day:

Spike TV has been advertizing for about 2 weeks the most ultimate james bond marathon ever for the american thanksgiving weekend, now me being a huge bond fan i was pumped, i was all ready to plan my study schedule around certain movies. wednesday was supposed to be the first night of it so i tune in and what is on.....fuckin real tv.
ok whatever i can let one missed night of programing go....now its tonight and what does spike do?....pam anderson in v.i.p. ALL FUCKING DAY!!!.....what kind of sick joke is this, now i'm just bitter and angry

p.s. i hate american thanksgiving....one thursday of nfl games is not all the other shows i watch being pre-empted....and where was ER this week at all
posted by Mike at 10:17 PM

not a whole lot new, so just some random musings:

- washing dishes blows, i just killed a good 2 hours doing them
-the seahawks put up 41 points and all alexander gets is 78 yards!
-anyone heard the g-unit album?...is it any good?
-ludacris put on a show somewhere in toronto bout a week or two ago that i was gonna maybe come home for...apparently he was onstage for about 45 minutes...thats disapointing
-being hungover blows...almost as much as dishes
- tanguay leads the league and ladislav nagy is in the top 10....damn
-for some reason i can't post comments on my site or on others....fuckin computers, i sometimes wish we wern't such slaves to faulty technology
-four more days of classes before finals....oh shit this could get ugly

thats all i've got on my mind right now...time to bust out some botany work
posted by Mike at 6:05 PM

and speaking of curses.....

posted by Mike at 11:27 AM

i was watching 106 & Park on B.E.T. the other day, and for those of you not familiar with the program its a top 10 countdown, they also play an 'old-school joint of the day'....so anyway the old school joint of the day was 'big pimpin' by jay-z....i like that song, it can't be an old school joint of the day....damn getting old sucks ass
posted by Mike at 4:08 PM

T-Mac: .66 shooting %, 51 points, 6 rebounds, 5 assists
Melo: .26 shooting %, 17 points, 14 rebounds, 7 assists

looks like someone got taken to school....adidas style....'what happened to that boy?'
posted by Mike at 1:45 AM

what i learned on my weekend vacation:

-buffets are fun....but damn i felt sick later
-suprise birthday embarassments are even more fun
-they let hookers into family resturants and no one has a problem with it
-just cause pasta looks good doesn't make it so
-so what, neo IS the matrix?....and what was that little girl?....okay i learned nothing from that movie
-ordering someone a girly drink insted of a gross shot is even funnier than i imagined
-now i have a severe unwaivering craving for perogies
-panbread, posibly the grosest greatest food there is....it does however lack bacon
posted by Mike at 12:31 PM

Maclean’s: U of G No. 1 Again
For the third time in five years, the University of Guelph has been named the No. 1 comprehensive university in Canada by Maclean’s magazine.

The national publication released its annual university rankings issue today, citing innovative programs, accessible faculty, unique research opportunities, and a distinctive commitment to students as some of the reasons U of G placed first among Canada’s comprehensive institutions.

posted by Mike at 12:11 PM

"Everyone has an opinon like everyone has an asshole"
- 50 Cent

-booyeah for dental opt-out day....its like free money, that means i get to buy groceries
-ball hockey in the t-dot this weekend, if it falls through i'm gonna be serious pissed, even if i'm only gonna last like 10 minutes anyway
-cujo rockin the shutout...hmmmm, maybe a more serious controversy?....nah hes still gone and with good reason
-and that webb mo'fucka deserved every beat he took from nolan....and more
-guelph finally got a radio station that plays 'mikes music', okay fine its actually from kitchener / waterloo, but thats not the point
-anyone else watching '24' cause so far i'm pretty impressed....damn good show
posted by Mike at 9:35 PM

Happy Hallowe'en Everybody!

i've got my SARS costume all ready to go....its gonna be a good night, and a long tomorrow
BOO!
posted by Mike at 4:02 PM

I'm swingin, about to rip tha kizzerp, sippin on my sizzerp
If you buy a verse from me than you just bought a vizzerse
Swangers on my wizzeal, platnium in my grizzeal
Me and Doby D stay blowin on some kizzeel
I'm higher than a hizzeel, mind on a mizzell
Southside of H-town show me how you fizzeel

1 paper, 1 assignment due tomorrow, 1 episode of survivor and 1 hockey game on tv tonight
The shiznits about to hit the fizan
posted by Mike at 2:58 PM

yeek yeek mo'fucka goin 4 years strong
got plenty haters really wishin i ain't last this long
and please don't get it twisted i ain't hollywood yet
i just jumped in that movie to get a big ass cheque
posted by Mike at 9:29 PM

Hey Drunky, thats right i called you drunky, and there's nothing you can do about it cause i'm in my cereal box fort
posted by Mike at 4:21 PM

Top Ten Reasons Why Procrastination Rocks:

1.
posted by Mike at 1:53 AM

25 signs you've "grown up"
1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a
one of them. (my botany project died....fuck)

2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.
(i watch the weather channel....don't own an umbrella though)
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup
and breakup.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'
(how bout fuzzy pants and a wings jersey?)
10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids
next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.
(stupid cops)
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
(my family has been telling sex jokes for years....i think they're just sick)
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
(sun to wed 12:00....thur to sat 1:30)
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments
go up.
(bus, what)
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.
(i don't even feed myself mcdonalds)
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
(couches suck ass, the floor is where its at)
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

17. Dinner and a movie = The whole date instead of the
beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would
severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids,
not condoms and pregnancy test kits.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff.'
(where can i find this bargan?)
21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
(ummm, pizza pops, pepsi and/or soup are breakfast food right?)
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never
going to drink that much again."

23. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is
for real work.
(hahaha i don't even know what real work feels like.....aside from painful)
24. You don't drink at home to save money before going
to a bar.

25. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't
apply to you!
(guess i haven't grown up that much yet....shocking)
posted by Mike at 1:53 AM

just some sports oriented thoughts:

- a partiots 9-3 win is still a win....but damn it was ugly
- a complete game shutout to win the series is just amazing
- looks like pitching CAN beat heart....thats why no one liked that kid on Captain Planet, heart is overrated
- mogilny comes back and sundin getts a goal, coinsidence, i think not
- its called a powerplay unit pat quinn...try to use one consistantly...and reichel and berg are alowed nowhere near it
- Brad Johnson and Quincy Carter, you guys let me down this week...might be time for a benching
- nba season starts this week, this year garnett wins the mvp...shoulda got it last year too....and bosh is gonna win the rookie of the year
- how'd you like the minors cujo? want to try it with the big club, you beat nashville convincingly on thursday and you'll be wearing a new jersey inside of a week
- congrats to paul tracey for winning that race car thing....whatever it was called
- thank you joe horn, you're officially off my shit list
- and my 'booyeah of the week' goes to: Steve Yzerman, great 2 goal showing....quite simply the best...captain...ever....in any sport

peace i'm out
posted by Mike at 5:26 PM

"I'll hit a home run to left field like Carter did to philly,
do you understand me? nah, really?"

10 years ago today it happened

"touch em all joe!"
posted by Mike at 6:16 PM

well i'm quite the idiot, you see i've been sitting at my desk working on some fun genetics questions, when i get the great idea to lean back and use my bookshelf as a footrest, so anyway i kick out one of the shelfs and my movies fall all over the floor....fuck!

it did inspire me however to provide you all with this:
Mike's Top Ten Movies!!

10. Along Came a Spider
9. Meet the Parents
8. Out of Sight
7. Go
6. Zoolander
5. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
4. Ocean's Eleven
3. Snatch
2. The Rock
1. The Bourne Identity

hounorable meantions go to dogma, jurassic park and gone in 60 seconds

and just for kicks:
My Top 5 Worst Movies
5. Daredevil
4. The Score
3. Get Carter
2. The Peacemaker
1. Lost and Found
posted by Mike at 6:50 PM

you're fucking kidding me right?!?!
hatcher out for 6 months?!
fuck fuck fuck!
hmmmm, maybe get a defenceman for cujo?.....nah i want another goal scorer
fuck! what a great way to start the season

p.s. FUCK!!!
posted by Mike at 3:07 PM

just saw the dallas stars new third jersey and it was breathtaking (and i mean that in the way it was used in an old seinfeld episode....ya know what i'm sayin)
why do teams do this?! (yeah i know its all about the money), but fuck who wants to wear something that looks like someone yaked on the logo
the minnisota wild however went the retro look on their third jersey and it actually looks pretty good....i still prefer the original
and the award for the worst third jersey in the league goes to:.....the boston bruins and their winnie the pooh, urine yellow jerseys

ok thats enough venting for now....time to go write a forestry midterm
posted by Mike at 12:26 PM

the curse strikes again!!
now i know that its easier to coach/manage/yell from my couch than it is in the situation in the dugout........but....i would have pulled pedro, prior and wood in all of those games before they blew up, you could just see it comming in every one of those games
oh well, GO MARLINS!
posted by Mike at 9:54 AM

love 4-on-4 overtime.....damn thats entertaining stuff
posted by Mike at 10:12 PM

botany midterm in T-11 hours.....time to engage in some primal scream therapy
posted by Mike at 10:57 PM

no matter how shitty my life can seem sometimes, i'm glad i'm not this guy
posted by Mike at 4:44 PM

ok this time lets try some movie quote identification:

1) "your best? losers whine about their best, winners go home and fuck the prom queen"

2) "hey baby, baby ever had sex with a fat man in an overcoat?!"

3) "you're dead to me boy, you're more dead to me than your dead mother"

4) "the sign says 'shut the fuck up' or can't you read?"

give me the speaker and the movie it comes from, and you win a thumbs up from me
posted by Mike at 9:14 PM

anyone else out there regularly watch jeopardy?
i've found myself being hooked on it, and the latest guy on a winnnig streak is up to over $100,000!!
and i like most people who watch it on tv think i could dominate those smart asses (minus art/american history questions)
posted by Mike at 9:08 PM

who is the new disney master?....yeah its me, had a good thanksgiving weekend, spent most of it trying to keep my 2 year old cousin out of trouble....and what is the easiest way to keep him occupied, thats right disney movies
so over the span of of a couple of days i was able to watch toy story 2, the lion king, alladin (twice), lilo and stitch, snow white, cinderella (4 friggin times) and piglets BIG movie.
So i decided that as i have grown into a wiser and more mature version of the me that watched these movies so many years ago it was time to re-evaluate:

Toy Story 2: quality film, how can you not be impressed by the graphics...my only problem is that i keep seeing tim 'the toolman' taylor and the tom hanks character from castaway doing the voices...oh yeah and newman from sienfeld plays the voice of the 'chicken man' as my cousin refers to him
Verdict: 3.5/5 *'s

The Lion King: best disney movie ever, the only detractor is using that kids voice from home improvement....damn thats annoying....great animation, great story....and that friggin monkey (baboon) kicks ass....asanti sana squash bananna weenie weenie weenie wanna
Verdict: 5/5 *'s

Alladin: this was the best disney movie ever, till the lion king came out....it is also the exception to mike's rule of not using celebrity voices in an animated film, robin williams was made to play the voice of the genie, and that comic guy with the severly irritating voice as the parrot, whatever the hell his name is is good too
Verdict: 4.5/5 *'s

Lilo and Stitch: i had never seen this movie before and i actually found it quite entertaining, and i recomend it to anyone who hasn't seen it....and i'm not certain but i'm pretty sure that it was j.lo providing the voice of the mother, not impressed
Verdict: 3.5/5 *'s

Snow White: i think as pollitically incorrect as it is, dwarfs are funnier now then they were when i was a kid...the moral of the story is don't take candy from strangers....but what kind of psycho is gonna take a nice shinny apple from the most demented looking chick any kid has ever seen, for just being dumb snow white deserves what she got
Verdict 3/5 *'s

Cinderella: okay maybe its the fact that i watched this movie 4 times but ihate it, the step sisters and mother are ass-pirates and i would have burned down their house years ago and gone to find 7 migets to live with, the mice are funny but this just teaches kids to go and play with vermin, and i hate rodents so thumbs down
Verdict: 2/5 *'s

Piglets BIG Movie: who the fuck do these guys think they are?! making a movie staring piglet, hes the biggest loser of the bunch, it would be like makeing robin the star of the next batman movie, or nick cage the star of the rock....damnit this was the worst idea ever, i really didn't pay too much attention to the movie because i spent its duration focusing all my energy on trying to knock the tv over with my mind
Verdict: 0/5 *'s

okay that wasted some time.....back to the botany learnin'
posted by Mike at 11:23 AM

Happy Turkey Weekend Everybody!!!

peace i'm out
posted by Mike at 12:17 PM

Alright, 3 different songs 3 different artists....can you name them?

"You don't think i'm packed n' pumped 'cause i'm out the hood,
thats a stereotype like everybody thats black can jump,
I'm in the white mink the fabric is done,
got rings like mike, bird, magic n' 'em"

-Rapper #1

"My mind won't work if my spine don't jerk,
slapped garth brooks out of his rinestone shirt,
i'm not a playa just an ill rhyme sayer,
that'll spray an aerosol can up at the ozone layer"

-Rapper #2

"If the roof on fire then let the muthafucker burn,
If you talkin bout money homie i ain't concerned"

-Rapper #3

*1 point each artist, 2 points for the song title*

posted by Mike at 11:20 AM

Can you name the song and/or the singers?

"Raw and explicit when i spit it on the mic,
Old folks say: 'that boy needs the lord in his life,
Playa think you can face me,
but playa you must be crazy"

-Rapper #1

"(Stop hes killin it sombody call the cops),
Yeah call 911 and watch no one come,
Thats to show you how nice i am,
The fifth group russel signed to def jam"

-Rapper #2

"Weather i'm hot or not pigeons gonna flock,
They come get they wig done for diggin on doc,
Find me 'round an hour in the frozen foods,
Because i am so cool, cool, cool"

-Rapper #3

*1 point for each correct identification*

posted by Mike at 11:55 PM

my new favorite thing to yell at the tv during a sporting event:

"Hey (insert player's name here)!! I've got you on my fantasy team...but i'll never play you 'cause YOU SUCK!!"

thanks to HeadlineSports for that one
posted by Mike at 5:57 PM

okay its the eve of the new hockey season and here is how my other pool teams shaped up:

Tony's Pool:
LW : Paul Kariya, Henrik Zetterberg and Marco Sturm
C : Joe Sakic, Steve Yzerman, Pavel Datsyuk and Patrick Marleau
RW : Petr Sykora, Ales Hemsky and Adam Deadmarsh
D : Sergei Gonchar, Rob Blake, Kimmo Timmonen and Paul Mara
G : Dominick 'The Dominator' Hasek and Thomas 'The Goalie' Vokoun

Tom's Pool:
LW : Paul Kariya, Henrick Zetterberg and Sergei Samsonov
C : Peter Forsberg, Joe Sakic and Joe Thorton
RW : Anson Carter, Peter Bondra and Ales Hemsky
D : Chris Pronger, Rob Blake, Serdei Zubov and Darian Hatcher
G : Dominick Hasek, Thomas Vokoun and David Aebischer

Head-to-Head Public:
LW : Paul Kariya, Henrik Zetterberg, and Sergei Samsonov
C : Joe Sakic, Pavel Datsyuk and Brad Richards
RW : Teemu Selanne, Adam Deadmarsh and Ales Hemsky
D : Rob Blake, Ed Jovanovski, Chris Pronger and Paul Mara
G : David Aebischer, Felix Potvin and Curtis Joseph

oh man its gonna be a fun season!
posted by Mike at 5:51 PM

What do all of the following players have in common:

1999 - Eric Lindros

2000 - Eddie George and Tim Duncan

2001 - Owen Nolan, Mike Piazza and Daunte Culpepper

2002 - Marshal Faulk and Mario Lemieux

2003 - Michael Vick, Jerome Iginla, Miguel Tejada and Randy Johnson

2004 - Dany Heatley

Thats right its the EA Sports curse....can it not be stopped?!?!?! and comming soon to stores near you....EA Sports NBA 2004 with guess who on the cover....thats right, Vince 'I think hes cursed already' Carter
just sumthin' to think about.....talk amongst yourselves

posted by Mike at 12:43 PM

Guess whos back,
Back again,
Mike is back,
Tell a friend.
posted by Mike at 1:32 PM

okay so today this guy comes to our house to fix our oven (it hasn't worked since we moved in) and tells us that if we had used it it would have blown the fuck up and knocked one or more of us through the opposite wall.......fuck you landlords!!!

so that was cool, watched the first playoff game between the yankees and twins this afternoon as i wrote out part of my latest stats assignment, nice to see the yankees lose, although they made a good attempt in the 9th

all my hockey drafts have happened so now its time to blow everyone away....i'll be posting the rosters of my latest teams (because i know you all care, and because i want to compare what my teams all end up looking like at the end of the year)

Botany Update : my fava bean plants are about a foot tall now....but they are still pretty boring...apparently there are supposed to be flowers on them, but i guess me leaving my window open makes it too cold....tough shit for the plants .....and i got some kind of fern plant from my botany lab too, its one of those ones that when you touch it the leaves contract on themselves, so its fun to play with

I guess thats it for now.....oh yeah, my msn messenger is more fucked then a cheap whore on shore leave, so if anyone knows how to fix some kind of random error i'd be glad to hear it

peace
posted by Mike at 7:03 PM

just rented 'confessions of a dangerous mind'.....what a great friggin movie...but i mean com'on how can you let george clooney get killed?!....anyway if you haven't seen it, then go see it.....its got mike's seal of approval
posted by Mike at 11:16 PM

Well one draft down and two to go....i can't wait for the pucks to start dropping, and hows this for a team:
Left Wing : Markus Naslund and Ray Whitney
Center : Joe Sakic and Mats Sundin
Right Wing : Alexander Mogilny, Glen Murray, and Alexi Kovalev
Defense : Sergi Zubov and Sandis Ozolinsh
Goalie : Marc Denis and David Aebischer

its go time!!
posted by Mike at 10:35 AM

Check them out for free now, before he gets famous and charges for viewings
posted by Mike at 12:08 AM

What the hell was that green bay?!!!?!?! and san fran learn to hold on to a lead !!!
at least the pats won, 13 more till the playoffs

p.s. if joe horn is reading this i have officially named you bum of the week!
posted by Mike at 9:29 PM

ok how do you convince someone to give you a grant for this research!
damned 'scientists'
posted by Mike at 10:37 AM

Well its two weeks into the season and i finally got a pool put together and with a pretty stacked team too.......now time to make some predictions:

AFC East : New England, I love the pats and i think they have what it takes to win in this close race......but for the record the bills scare me, they're one or two ex-patriots away from the superbowl

AFC North : Pittsburgh, i don't think baltimore is going to be good enough to contest this division and the steelers should take it easily

AFC South : Indianapolis, i got harrison and james in my pool so i expect them to have big division winning seasons, and the titans just arn't good enough to stop them

AFC West : hmmmm Denver or KC......Portis or Holmes, i had portis last year and have holmes this year.....and oakland is always capable, but i think they're too old.....i'm gonna go with the Cheifs to win this division on priest holmes' back, and if gonzo can get healthy they'll be a force to be seen

NFC East : i'm goin with philly even though they are 0-2 right now, but i have faith that mcnabb can turn it around and put up enough points for their defence to hold on tight....i'm gonna say they finish 10-6

NFC North : Green Bay, they have some hurtin recievers right now but once the weather gets cold no one is gonna take games from them in lambeau field

NFC South : New Orleans, they're my underdog pick of the year, they've got defense thats not too bad and they have brooks to horn all year long (both on my team) and some guy named duce that can run a little

NFC West : San Fran, they shouldn't have lost last week and their team is too strong offensivly not to win it
posted by Mike at 1:33 PM

"Outside of a dog, a book is mans best friend,
inside of a dog its too dark to read"
posted by Mike at 9:03 PM

so i'm sitting here readin up on seed formation and germination when the weather comes on the radio....looks like good news that hurricane is expected to miss toronto for the most part....because its moving more west, what is west of toronto......oh yeah, its guelph....fuck looks like i'm gonna be getting wet on friday....unless i stay home....hmmmm
posted by Mike at 4:43 PM

Good News of the Day : yeah for new movies!....just bought the transporter, die another day and the bourne identity pre-viewed from the friendly neigbourhood blockbuster so thats cool

Bad News of the Day : Tuition cheques get cashed tomorrow....its like being kicked in the nuts, only poorer

Neutral News of the Day : its day two of my botany assignment for the semester and so far my plant is still just a pot of soil
posted by Mike at 4:12 PM

you know when you're sitting in a lecture and the prof puts up an overhead of some extremely complicated diagram and then they say "you're expected to reproduce this exact diagram for the final" and they think that they're the first professor to think of such a hilarious joke.....and people in the class actually laugh at it!

fuck i hate that
posted by Mike at 6:39 PM

Yeah Patriots!!!

14 more games till the playoffs!
posted by Mike at 8:05 PM

Botany and Forestry!......booyeah, boy do i know how to have a good sunday.....i hope the Patriots game is televised at 4 otherwise i might just go insane
posted by Mike at 1:23 PM

okay time to enlist some help to prove a point......last night i was watching some television when a commercial came on for some kind of soap or shampoo or something, anyway the dude that was in the shower for the commercial was standing facing the shower head so that the stream of water was hitting him directly in the face

my question is simple.....does anyone do this or am i the crazy guy that faces away from the shower head?
posted by Mike at 2:30 PM

well look who is back up in this mutha

look for more fun in the near future
posted by Mike at 7:06 PM

Round 2 picks:

Ottawa over Philly.................the flyers are too banged up and too tired
Jersey over Tampa...............seems like a no brainer (but considering the no brainers that have already booked tee off times who knows)
Anaheim over Dallas..............i saw what they did to my wings, and i don't see why they can do it to the stars too
Vancouver over Minnisota.......bertuzzi is the man (but wouldn't a western final of the old minnisota team vs. the new one be interesting too)

p.s. depending on where you look i'm either 4/8 or 2/8 in the first round
posted by Mike at 10:23 AM

ok well now that the leafs are out of the playoffs and the bandwaggon has gotten a little bit lighter its time to look towards next year, and at what needs to be done to make this team better......and here is my two cents:

lumme, hoglund and berg, GONE......(possibly reichel and renberg too....but they arn't as nessesary yet).....it doesn't matter how, waivers, trade, kidnapping, forced retirement whatever....then bring up rick jackman and ian white to play full time on D and either healey or ponikarovsky on forward

re-sign wesley, he plays great alongside mccabe

i'd let phil housley go, it was a smart gamble to pick him up this year (at the time when they did it) but i don't think he can help the team long term

don't let tucker get away, rumor has it that hes thinking of following corson out of town, hes much more usefull than most people give him credit for

and lastly pat quinn needs to give up the coaching position and just GM full time.....i personally like ron wilson as a replacement behing the bench, just get quinn out of there so he can focus on the personel side of the team
posted by Mike at 10:14 AM

so there i am sitting in my room pretty much just killing time till the hockey game started (crap philly just scored again 3-1....fuck them) anyway, so i'm sitting here playin a little bit of cards online when i think to myself 'hmmmm i wonder if jill took her tv home with her on friday' and sure enough it was still sitting on her floor.....so now mike has a tv in his room!!...yeah for me....thats about all i've got going on, gonna be back in scarborough on sunday for the day to do the family easter thing and try not to catch sars...then its back to guelph for a couple days to kill time before our next court date with our landlord, then its back in the t-dot for the summer....anyone know a good job that is looking to hire?
posted by Mike at 4:59 PM

well i was just on a study break and found some of this stuff:

-holy shit as if this actually happened
-much more effective than waving ballons like they do for basketball
-well its about fucking time
-they lose in four and by a combined total of four goals, the definition of so close yet so very far
posted by Mike at 4:19 AM

wow.....i....can't.....believe it......i haven't been this devistated since the wings lost first round to san jose in '94......i honestly just can't believe it......damn.....okay well all you wing haters out there this is your time to go nuts before your teams get knocked out too....so fill up the comment section with your horseshit mockery....just remember that the wings are technically still the stanley cup champions for another couple weeks
posted by Mike at 2:14 AM

the wings first three game losing streak since 2001, and it had to happen in the playoffs.......fuck
posted by Mike at 7:58 AM

so thats why the american dollar is worth more
posted by Mike at 7:01 PM

just something to think about:
-Mike Weir is the 67th winner of the Masters, and might drop the puck tonight at the Leafs game
-The Leafs haven't won the Cup since '67
-Philly had 67 shots in the first two games

coinsidence?.....i think not
posted by Mike at 12:17 PM

yet another reason why i hate finals:
leafs and flyers game at 7:00.....should be a good one, finally lumme is going to be out of the lineup, and a game i'd love to watch
wings and ducks game at 10:30....i've gotta watch this game, the ducks are going to get rocked like nobodys business, and if they arn't being rocked by the end of the 2nd period someone needs to take a run a giguere...repeatedly

but wait....am i going to be watching these games?....no of course not, i've got a fucking calculus final tomorrow, and if chemistry was any indication its obviously not cool to watch a triple overtime game when i should have been studying.....fuck you finals! fuck you large!

GO WINGS!!
posted by Mike at 11:41 AM

In honour of one of the best times of the year, and to further procrastinate this evening i have decided to share some interesting facts with you.....enjoy:

- The Stanley Cup originally cost $48.67
-On March 22nd, 1894, the first Stanley Cup contest was played. A one game playoff between the Montreal Hockey Club and the Ottawa Capitals
-5,000 eager fans paying 25 cents each for rush seats and 75 cents for reserve seats watched Montreal defeat the Capitals 3-1
-Lord Stanley never attended a Stanley Cup Championship game
-The Stanley Cup has logged more than 400,000 miles in travel during the past five seasons
-It has raised more than $4 million for charity the past three seasons
-For about 40 years, Lord Stanley's silver bowl was the entire trophy, but players on championship teams began scratching their initials on the bowl. In response, sometime in the 1940s silver bands were added to the bottom of the bowl with all the names on winning teams engraved on them
-There are 2,116 names on the Stanley Cup as of May, 2002
-It takes 13 years to fill one ring of the Stanley Cup with names of winners
-Lord Stanley's (who was the Governer General of Canada) official title was "Right Honourable Sir Frederick Arthur Stanley, Baron Stanley of Preston, in the County of Lancaster, in the Peerage of Great Britain, Knight Grand Cross of the Most Honourable Order of the Bath."

If interested in more information please consult your local library, or just go here
posted by Mike at 9:31 PM

Happy 50th Birthday!!
posted by Mike at 6:39 PM

you think you know me?, you have no idea
posted by Mike at 1:36 PM

thanks to the crew at sui-generis for this:

1. What was the first band you saw in concert?
i saw stompin tom conners in concert about 10 years ago and it rocked

2. Who is your favorite artist/band now?
i'm gonna say ludacris, he hasn't done anything new for a while so eminem and 50 cent have kinda taken over my cd player...but i still think he is my favorite
3. What's your favorite song?
"woah" - Black Rob.....that song is like woah

4. If you could play any instrument, what would it be?
the trombone, it kicked my ass in elementary school and i want revenge, plus how cool would it be to be able to come up to chicks and say "hey whats up, i'm a tromboner"

5. If you could meet any musical icon (past or present), who would it be and why?
hmmmm thats a tough one, i just saw the diary of ludacris on mtv and he looks like he'd be fun to hang out with....i might've said 50 cent but my bullitproof vest is in the shop....and theres always shania too....tough one, i'll go with shania
posted by Mike at 1:27 PM

well thanks to the entertaining, triple overtime, defeat that the red wings suffered tonight i am currently in the middle of another all-nighter....and for the record its never worth it when your team loses....but thats ok, as long as i don't fail this exam tomorrow i won't even care....so the new game plan is to write this exam at 8:30 come back here and grab a couple old tests to go throw at another prof becasue he marked them wrong and i'd like the mark i deserve, then come back here again and pass out till the hockey game, then watch the hockey game, then pass out again till saturday....sounds good to me!
posted by Mike at 2:47 AM

alright, some of you have seen this already, but here it is anyway

Here's the deal: Normal survey, except you can only
answer in song lyrics (and not ones you made up
yourself, smartass). Must ID song and/or band. You can
use the same bands/songs as much as you want, but it's
more fun if you try to use each only once or twice.
Have fun!

1) Are you male or female?:
"I'm a nice guy, but cha, but cha, betta not tempt me,
i'm a nice guy won't ya come and party wit me"

I (remix) - Timbaland

2) Describe your neighborhood:
"On my block everything was everything fa sheezie,
on my block we probably done it all hommie believe me"

My Block - Scarface

3) How do you look?:
"What if i was white, skin the same colour as eminem,
with blond hair and blue eyes, the whole shabang"

What If I Was White - Sticky Fingaz

4)If you could say one thing to the person you like
what would it be?
"Thanks for commin out tonight, you coulda been anywhere in the world,
but you're here with me, and i appriciate that"

H to the Izzo - Jay-Z

5) Where do you wish you were right now?:
"Palm trees, bad bitches and wannabes, ol G's like me eatin on policies,
now lakers, jelly beans and wallabes......crank up the beat, raise up the heat, throwin a block party in LBC"

Welcome to Atlanta (remix) - Snoop Dogg

6) What do you think about your best friends?:
"Call us what you want to call us, we're all fuckin alchoholics"

Alkaholik - Xzibit (*paraphrased)

7) Any words of advice?:
"You shouldn't throw stones if you live in a glass house,
and if you've got a glass jaw you should watch your mouth,
cause i'll break your face"

Patiently Waiting - 50 Cent

8) What do you wish you were doing right now?:
"In T-dot drinkin baccardi, and party drinkin baccardi, and t-dot rockin the party"

Baccardi Slang - Kardinal
9) If you could say one thing to your enemy what would it be?

"Heres the fuckin shit i've been talking about, half-rappin ass motherfuckers,
you think its a game?, you think its a FUCKIN GAME?!...C'MON!!"

Whats My Name - DMX

10) What do you usually do on Saturday nights?:
"Get fucked up, getfuckedup, get fucked up"

Get Fucked Up - Iconz

11) Sunday mornings?:
"And when the cops came to me, and Dre stood next to a burned down house,
with a can full of gas and a hand full of matches, and still no one found out"

Forgot About Dre - Eminem

12)Apologetic words??
"Ain't nobody else droppin shit like this,
should we apologize?....nah fuck it, leave em pissed"

E.I. - Nelly

13) Are you for World Peace?:
"Now i'm ready to go to war like saddam hussain,
everybody in the industry knows my squads name"

Wanksta (remix) - Flipmode Squad
14) What do you think about in the mornings?:
"theres too many rookies, not enough pros"

Game Got Switched - Ludacris

15) How do you feel right now?:
"Mr. Metha, warmin pot, bout to blow its lid from the pressure, too hot for TV
but cheesy, too many wanna be hard, be easy, its all in together
going all out together it don't take much to please me"

Da Rockwilder - Method Man

16) Any closing words?:
"When you see something ill, y'nawimean, that shit is woah
anything ill you see is woah"

Woah - Black Rob

17) Best line ever used in every day life?:
"Who you trying to get crazy with essay?
don't you know i'm loco"

Insane In The Brain - Cypress Hill

OR

"I got permission to put yo' momma in a headlock"

Block Lockdown - Ludacris
posted by Mike at 4:14 PM

okay well i was just messing araound on my favorite nhl website and i see that there is a poll there, "which lower seeded team has the best chance to make the next round" so i think about it for a second and decide that my choice is going to be toronto.....thats all well and good, because apparently 40% of the almost 50 thousand votes agreed with me, but what i found to be amazing was that the team that came second was minnisota!....are you kidding me?!.....that means that there are more people out there thinking the wild has a better shot of beating colorado then either the blues taking the canucks or washington beating tampa....maybe i'm the idiot....but i doubt it.....and just for the record the team with the worst chance: the mighty ducks, booyeah detroit

Todays Essential Rap Song: "My Projects" - Coo Coo Cal
posted by Mike at 3:43 PM

if you are interested in the playoff pool(s) the info is here
posted by Mike at 9:56 PM

Hockey Playoff Pool!!

no fee, simply for fun

details comming tonight....check it out
posted by Mike at 1:49 PM

Holy shit!.....ultimate BOOYEAH!!!

Todays Essential Rap Song: "Cold As Ice" - MOP
posted by Mike at 9:34 AM

wow i got a lot accomplished today....went to my last calculus class of the year, and stayed for the whole 2 1/2 hours.....got my schedule fixed up.....picked up my old tests.....made sure there was money in the bank so the utility bills don't bounce....and most importantly i got my super 7 ticket....25 million, this could be MY super seven friday!

Todays Essential Rap Song: "$100 Dollar Bill Ya'll" - Ice Cube
posted by Mike at 10:32 PM

wow what an interesting bottle

posted by Mike at 4:46 PM

well i just got screwed over nicely....apparently the university of guelph over-booked the lab times for fall semesters intro to biochem class, and lucky me i was chosen to have it removed from my schedule!!...fuck that, now i have to go meet with my program counselor to find some other course (that still has space available) to get into...that fuckin blows, not that i was looking forward to taking biochem or anything, but still....fuck you guelph!!

Todays Essential Rap Song: "Fuck You" - Pharoahe Monch
posted by Mike at 4:40 PM

oh yeah for anyone who will be in the guelph area on friday this week....its a keg party!!
posted by Mike at 11:30 AM

-i woulda thought this was obvious
-because curly fries are the shizznit

Todays Essential Rap Song: "Forgot About Dre" - Dr. Dre and Eminem
posted by Mike at 11:21 AM

ok heres mike's baseball tip of the day:
pick up corey patterson.....7 rbi's today!....i've got him in almost all of my pools this year and had him on all of them last year....hes gonna breakout big time....and if he doesn't then i'm sorry

Todays Essential Rap Song: 'Southern Hospitality' - Ludacris
posted by Mike at 4:57 PM

well we're into the home stretch now...just gotta punch out one more computers
assignment and study like a damn fool and then its ultimate go time!
good thing there isn't much on tv to distract me at this time of year....besides
the start of the baseball season, impending nhl and nba playoffs, and of course
survivor....its gonna be fun

Todays Essential Rap Song: 'Beanie (Mack Bitch)' - Beanie Siegal
posted by Mike at 5:26 PM

well i'm currently in the middle of an all-nighter, i've got a 20% ecology test tomorrow
and because this class doesn't have a final exam this is kind of it....go time is upon us,
oh well....looking forward to the weekend, apparently saturday is going to consist of
getting stupid and watching movies all day, so thats cool.....i guess i'll get back to the
books.....and oh yeah there is a list of hip-hop's most essential songs comming soon
to this site (it was already writen but aparently blogger didn't want to post it....bastards)

aight peace i'm out
posted by Mike at 1:26 AM

oh and i can't believe i forgot,
Things that are good:
no more atlantic salmon!!!!!!
85% on salmon paper!!!!
no more atlantic salmon!!!!!

Things that are bad:
javascript....fuckin computers assignment
posted by Mike at 11:33 PM

Things That Are Good:
-8 mile
-Dinner with family
-Having a sweet new house
-Bacon
-March Maddness

Things That Are Bad:
-Being sick
-This stack of work to be done
-Stress
-Having to pay for sweet new house

Feeling: shitty
Listening to: 'Bombs Over Bahgdad' - Outkast
Drinking - apple juice
posted by Mike at 1:37 PM

we've got a new place to live next year!!!!
i think we might have to celebrate tonight
posted by Mike at 4:08 PM

i don't think anyone who reads this cares, but just in case this is your official
reminder: survivor amazon is on tonight at 8....not the regular thursday time

thank you for your time, that is all
posted by Mike at 5:55 PM

"you shouldn't throw stones if you live in a glass house,
and if you got a glass jaw you should watch your mouth,
cause i'll break your face"
- 50 cent

p.s. patty's day rocsks booyeag
posted by Mike at 1:04 AM

Okay folks heres the official invite:

St. Patricks Day is fast approaching, and you know what that means....
thats right we're getting shit-faced in appreciation of our Irish herritage,
think you can make it out here?...the drinking starts at 3:30 (earlier if i
skip some classes)....gimme a shout if you're game

(thanks to steve for the pic)

posted by Mike at 11:39 AM

anyone out there able to interpret dreams?......cause i had a good one:

okay so there i am sitting in computers class (thats how i knew it was a dream, cause
i don't go to computers class), anyway i'm just lookin around not really paying attention
and i see mr. tadman taking notes.....so i figure hes there to learn the latest info on
computer technology (in my intro to computing class....whatever)....then my prof says
"i'm glad you all came out today cause we have a guest speaker"...then xzibit gets up
in front of the class and starts rapping about physics....and i'm like 'whats this physics
shit in my computers class about, i'm outta here'....so i start walking back to my house
and i take a short-cut through one of the residences and i see this guy perched up on a
bookcase at the top of a flight of stairs with a couple of the rez couches at the bottom
of the stairs....so i say to him "you know those couches really arn't padded that well,
you'll probably get hurt".....then me and this kid go breaking into all the rooms near where
he was and stealing the mattresses to pile at the bottom of the stairs.....then i wake up

now what the hell is that all about?
posted by Mike at 12:08 AM

anyone else excited about trade deadline day?

tucker to edmonton
gilmour to toronto
satan to detroit
burke to edmonton

so many posibilities all crammed into 24 hours.....i love this game
posted by Mike at 1:35 PM

Okay i'm on the bandwaggon, and you should be too cause this kid is sic!

don't argue with a man with a gun
posted by Mike at 12:08 AM

well i haven't posted for a while cause i've been pretty lazy, but now i have
something to bitch about so sit back and enjoy:
okay for anyone who has talked to me in the last couple weeks is probably aware
of my extreme hatred towards atlantic salmon. for those who haven't, first of all shame
on you, second i had a 10 page paper to write on the distribution and marketing of
said salmon. okay so anyway the paper was due on monday, the same paper that i
wasted 8 days of my reading week in guelph working on, the same paper that i
wasted most of my sunday working on, and the same paper that i was up all night
finishing (my 3rd all-nighter in 6 days...what a shitty week). i get to class on monday
morning, ready to pass out on account of the extreme lack of sleep and the prof says:
"i recieved an e-mail from a student on the weekend asking for an extension on the
paper because it was hard. so i granted the extension and thought it wouldn't be fair
to the rest of the class not to give the extension to everyone, so its now due on friday."
are you fucking kidding me?!?! because it was hard?!!? no shit, this is university people!
gimme a fucking break school is hard, fuck this.....and the fact that the extension was
given on the weekend meant that the only person in the class who was aware of it was
the dopey bitch that asked for it in the first place....another point for the record is that i
found out who the bastard was that thought this paper was so hard, and it was this guy
that i had decided i hated a few weeks ago. why do i hate him you ask...hes one of those
fucking kids that sits front row in a few of my classes and instead of asking logical questions
he tries to relate everything to some fucking job he had with the ministry of resourse....
here is an example of one of his stories:
we're talking about proper pesticide management in one lecture and he raises his hand
and had this to say: "well i remember when i was working for the ministry we had trouble
with a population of robins because some farmer had cut down trees on his property....."
at this point the prof cuts him off and asks what this has to do with pesticide management,
and he says: "well it doesn't exactly relate, but the point is the same"...the prof just
ignored him and went on....but i'm sitting in the back like, what the fuck is this bitch babbling
about, that had nothing to do with anything...and then today i run into this guy in the elevator
while i'm on my way home and we have this conversation:
Idiot: hey are you in my food class?
Me: yeah
Idiot: man that paper is really hard eh
Me: (resisting the urge to pummel him) yeah i guess, i was done on monday though
Idiot: oh well i had a bunch of stuff last week so i felt i needed the extension
Me: oh yeah?...what all did you have?
Idiot: well i had a lab report and an online quiz to write
Me: (if he doesn't get off at the next floor i might kill him) thats it?...i had a lab,
a midterm, another research paper, a test and an assignment due...and i
still got the paper done
Idiot: wow thats a lot...you should've asked for an extension
Me: (was that a joke?...does he think thats gonna stop me from beating the
hell out of him?) yeah well we were told about the paper in january and we
all knew it would be hard, so i wasn't going to be a baby about it
Idiot: ........
Me: (i just stare at him for the rest of the ride, willing him to drop dead)
Idiot: okay see you later
Me: (just keep staring....i hope he can't finish the paper by friday)

well after getting that all out i feel a little better...now time for some sleep
posted by Mike at 2:22 AM

well reading week is now upon us...well some of us anyway...and here i am stuck in
guelph, working on a paper about atlantic salmon...damn you fish...damn youz ta hell
....its turning out to be a lot more work than i first anticipated...that sucks, and so
instead of working like a hardcore animal for the rest of the day i'm gonna go to my
aunt and uncle's place in guelph for dinner....that makes most of the rest of the day a
write off....i guess i could stay up late when i get back and work on it, but that just
doesn't seem right when the deadline is more than a day away...oh well we'll see what
happens....i'm out, peace
posted by Mike at 2:13 PM

well heres my master plan for the day: do all the studying that i need before 8:00 cause
after that its tv time all night, survivor, crank yankers, canucks vs. avalanche, am i hot?,
fear factor, and probably some other junk that i can't stop myself from watching....on a
related note did anyonewatch the celebrity mole: hawaii?...i was suprised that freddie
was the mole...and yet again very dissapointed with their junk-ass "clues", fuck them,
who are these hardcore freaks that actually link that shit together...boourns....hmmmm
what else is new....does anyone know any info on the distribution and marketing of atlantic
salmon?....if so would you like to write me a 10 page research essay on it?....please?...
i guess thats i'll i've got stored up in my head...i'll be back with a survivor commentary soon
....peace
posted by Mike at 4:15 PM

well i wrote my midterm for my food production and the environment class this morning,
thats always a fun way to start the day....and it was so cold when i left the exam that i
decided to cancel the rest of my days classes due to adverse weather....so now i can
focus 100% of my study powers on fridays upcomming ecology test...booyeah for
ecology!....well thats all thats goin on for now....peace
posted by Mike at 3:12 PM

has this ever happened to you?

posted by Mike at 9:31 PM

thanks to da homies at Sui Generis:
1. Your name spelled backwards. egaSeL kcirtaP leahciM
2. Where were your parents born. the original T-Dot....Tweed ontario
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? in da club by 50 cent....
great song
4. What's your favorite restaurant? i'll give you a clue....they rule the night.
5. Last time you swam in a pool? last summer.
6. Have you ever been in a school play? every year in elementary school
7. How many kids do you want? as many as i can get my hands on....i hear they're real
cheep these days
8. Type of music you dislike most? gangsta rap...such a negative message for todays youth
9. Are you registered to vote? oh yess
10. Do you have cable? rockinest cable in guelph
11. Have you ever ridden on a moped? nope....i saw one once
12. Ever prank call anybody? nooooo.....
13. Ever get a parking ticket? definitly no
14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? i'd like to say yes....but i'd probably baby out
15. Furthest place you ever traveled. the florida keys
16. Do you have a garden? i have a dirt pile....does that count?
17. What's your favorite comic strip? get fuzzy
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? of course
19. Bath or Shower, morning or night? shower at night...but only cause i'm too lazy in the
morning
20. Best movie you've seen in the past month? the bourne identity...man that movie rocks so
hard...and matt damon, what a hottie
21. Favorite pizza topping? bacon strips...thank you steve for showing me the light
22. Chips or popcorn? big ol' bag of chips
23. What color lipstick do you usually wear? either ruby red or light pink
24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? not since the cost went up
25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? i won second place in a beauty pagent last time
i played monopoly
26. Orange Juice or apple? gimme the apple
27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine? i think ian
and i went to subway...i'm on the jared diet
28. Favorite type chocolate bar? wonderbar
29.????
30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato- i guess sometime in the summer....my folks
grow tomatos
31. Have you ever won a trophy? ya a couple of 'em
32. Are you a good cook? i own the kitchen
33. Do you know how to pump your own gas? doesn't everybody?.....i guess thats why they
have full serve "full it up plus!"
34. Ever order an article from an infomercial? no but when i win the lotery its gonna be an
infomercial shopping spree.....i want one that will cut up my veggies and clean out those tough
to get stains
35. Sprite or 7-up? make 7 up yours....actually sprite, but sprite isn't funny
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? yes...and sing...booooourns
37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? a can of pepsi
38. Ever throw up in public? oh yes....but i don't remember....i heard about it though
39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? mo' money mo' problems....but no
money big problems....thats why i buy lotto tickets
40. Do you believe in love at first sight? yes
41. Ever call a 1-900 number? not to the best of my recolection
42. Can ex's be friends? yes
43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? my grandfather
44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby? nope bald and beutiful
45. What message is on your answering machine? "who you trying to get crazy with essay,
don't you know i'm loco"
46. What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character? when christopher walken
hosted, the cowbell guy...."gotta gimme more cowbell baby"...."i put my pants on just like
you, one leg at a time, but when my pants are on i make gold records"...."when i'm through
with you you'll be wearing gold plated diapers".....and when he was the census taker on the
same episode
47. What was the name of your first pet? ebony
48. What is in your purse? my gat, couple packs of gum and a plan for to end world hunger
49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime? start the cd player and hit the lights
50. What is one thing you are grateful for today? scamming my chem TA into taking my lab
that was a couple weeks late
peace i'm out
posted by Mike at 9:25 PM

You Know You're A Hockey Fan If...
1.Your idea of serving breakfast is giving each of your kids a fork and dropping an
Eggo in the middle of the table.
2. You punish your kids with "minors," "majors," and "misconducts."
3. When you come to a traffic signal and the light turns green, you stop.
4. When you come to a traffic signal and the light turns red, you get really excited
and start cheering.
5. You consider the Forum in Montreal a place of worship.
6. You keep a picture of the Stanley Cup in your wallet in front of the picture of your
family.
7. Instead of duct tape, you use hockey tape to fix everything.
8. You know the difference between "The Garden," "The Gahden," and "The Gardens."
9. You call a trip to the Hockey Hall of Fame a "pilgrimage."
10. You think the Canadian National Anthem is the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada."
11. You send Gordie Howe a birthday card, yet you can't even remember your own family
members' birthdays.
12. All your kids are either named Gordie, Bobby or Wayne.
13. You went to see "West Side Story" because you thought it was about a game between
Colorado and San Jose.
14. You went into a bank because it advertised "Free Checking"....and walked out disappointed.
15. When someone refers to "The Classics," you think they're talking about the Original Six.
16. Your cure for everything is a couple extra-strength aspirin and a shot of Novocain.
17. You can pronounce anything in French, yet you have no idea what it means.
18. Every time you hear a siren you wonder who scored.
19. You can say "Khabibulin," "Tkachuk," "Jagr," "Leschyshyn" and "Nikolishin" without
getting tongue-tied.
20. Every time you see the name "Roy" you automatically pronounce it "Wah."
21. You're not allowed to play chess simply because the first time you played, you
misunderstood the meaning of the word "Check."
22. You think the Four Food Groups are Nachos, Beer, Pretzels and Rubber.
23. Everything in your wardrobe is your team's colors.
24. You still remember which teams were in the Patrick, Smythe, Norris and Adams
divisions and which divisions were in the Campbell and Prince of Wales conferences.
25. You know the difference between "The Edmonton Express" and "The Human Express."
26. You refer to your team's enforcers as "chippy players" and you refer to other teams'
enforcers as "fucking little pieces of monkey shit."
27. When you're at a game, you're not bothered when your kid says "Fuck!" but when he
says "shutout" before the game is over, you threaten to wash his mouth out with soap.
28. You wonder what Miroslav Satan did to become the Prince of Darkness and Ruler of Hell.
29. You think the proper way to spell the plural of "leaf" is "leafs."
30. You can name all the Sutter brothers in order
posted by Mike at 7:25 PM

posted by Mike at 5:13 PM

can you believe that this was worth 107%
i love my computer's TAs
posted by Mike at 4:45 PM

posted by Mike at 11:27 AM

just a couple things to keep in mind:
maybe thats why miss cleo is gone
best police chase ever!
it sooo wasn't worth the pork pie
get ready to buy advance tickets
posted by Mike at 11:03 AM

i know this isn't as funny as i think it is......'broadview' anyone?

posted by Mike at 2:21 PM

last chance
posted by Mike at 2:08 PM

okay really fuck this game i hate computers!
posted by Mike at 1:58 PM

damnit i hate this shit....damncraphell.....
posted by Mike at 1:55 PM

haha no pressure

posted by Mike at 1:39 PM

posted by Mike at 1:31 PM

okay i'm wasting another day trying to figure out this posting junk again, then
back-to-back-to-back simpsons episodes at 4:30 followed by the all-star
skills competition....i've got my day planed pretty good
posted by Mike at 1:24 PM

posted by Mike at 1:07 PM

Top 10 Best Rappers Names:
10. Black Rob (informative and to the point)
9. Knoc'turn'al (best usage apostrophes)
8. Obie Trice (real name, no gimmikz)
7. Sticky Fingaz (sounds gross but i like it)
6. 50 Cent (i dunno what it means but its hype)
5. Ghostface Killah (hee hee it makes me laugh)
4. Busta Rhymes (remember how silly this name was when he first came out?)
3. Ludacris (an intresting twist on an everyday word)
2. Xzibit (an even better twist on an everyday word)
1. Krumbsnatcha (funniest name ever, period.)

posted by Mike at 12:59 PM

posted by Mike at 4:28 PM

.Name: Michael Patrick LeSage
2. Were you named after anyone?:nope
3. Which finger is your favorite? the index finger
4.When did you last cry ? i have no idea
5. Do you like your handwriting? not at all...thats why i print
6. Who do you admire? hmmm...thats a good one....and it takes too much thought
7. What is the #1 priority in your life? i think jay-z says it best "cash, money, hoes"
8. Your favorite lunch meat? go bacon or go home
9. Any bad habits? i am a lazy bastard
10. What store would you never be caught in? gary's used electronics and fetish emporium
11. If you were another person, who would you be? "i'd have to say Jesus, i mean if
you're gonna follow in someones footsteps who better than JC?"
(Owen Wilson in Meet the Parents)
12. Are you a daredevil? not so much
13. Have you ever told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell? ya of course...we all have
and if you say you havent, you lie
15. Do looks matter? no its whats inside that counts....no really i'm serious, stop
laughing its true....okay maybe they matter some.
14. When was the last time you wanted to punch someone? this morning at 6am because
there were some loud people in the house....but i'm not gonna list names.....
15. Are you trendy? ya you all know you wish you had my style....i'm gonna laugh
real good when you're all rockin the fuzzy pants
16. What do you do to prevent anger? i bottle it up....then some day i'll explode
17. Are you passive or aggressive? depends on the situation
18. Who is your idol? i don't really have an idol...thats kinda sad
19. Who is your second family? Jill, Cole and Ian...except they peer pressure me
to drink more than my actual family
20. Do you trust others easily? No not really....everyone has an agenda
21. What did you play w/ as a child? ninja turtles, batman toys, sand, stuffed animals
22. During high school did you think it was a complete waste of time? sort of....and now
i know it was
23. Do you like sappy love songs? ya "move bitch" is my favorite love song
24. Have you ever been on radio or television? when i was little i was in the background
at the santa claus parade
25. Have you ever intentionally hurt someone? yes...thats another one we've all done
26. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? not since my days in grade 8....it was a real
budget mosh pit too
27. Do you feel understood most of the time? ya i think so....if you can't understand me
then maybe you should consult some professional help
28. Would you rather have a sore throat or upset stomach? hmmm...sore throat cause pukeing
doesn't last as long
29. Do you know what 'sctief' is? ya but i'm not allowed to say or they'll know
30. What is your nickname? mike, i was called mike's hard for a while, my cousin calls
me pukey, and shes gonna pay
31. Could you be a vegetarian ? hahahaha....no i'd rather die....painfully
32. Would you ever bungee jump? i'll say yes....but i'd shit myself too
33. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? laces are for chumps
34. What are you worried about? school, my current house situation....apes
35. Do you ever wear overalls? just cause i'm in guelph doesn't mean i wear overalls
36. Do you think you are strong? ya bigtime.....i mean no, i'm a wimp
37. What's your favorite Popsicle flavor? is red cherry?....i say red
38.Birthday: Sept 2, 1982
39. Favorite color(s): red blue green
40. Eye color: blueish
41. Do you have a driver's license? still got a couple months left on the ol' G1
42. Last person who called: laurel....but it was for cole
43. Last person who saw you cry: raymond moses
44. Last person you had a fight with: cole....pure retalitory
45. Last person you had a drink with: its gotta be cole jill and ian
46. Last person you went to the movies with? i don't even remember the last movie
i saw....i think it was bond....or did i see one after that....i think i went to see bond
with lee and hendrix.....damn my memory blows
47. Last person you went to the mall with? ian and jill....i was gonna buy a sweet jersey
but the bastards didn't have the one i want
48. Who sent you this email: stole this one too

posted by Mike at 3:50 PM

i'm jumpin on the bandwaggon too:
------------------RIGHT NOW------------------
* Wearing: jeans, sweatshirt, white socks, boxers
* I'm feeling: like working on my chem lab
* Eating: popcorn
* Drinking: nothing.....but i think i'm gonna get a pepsi now
* Thinking about: how much i hate chem labs....and skunks
* Listening to: my latest mix cd....right now "la rumba" by rza
* Talking to: just finished talking to homer and ian
---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------
* Cried: no
* Worn a skirt: not for a while
* Met someone New: ya ians brother is staying with us for a few days
* Cleaned your room: ha i actually did...when i got back from toronto i put
all my shit away
* Done laundry: no, did it all on saturday
* Drove a car: i got a ride in one
---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------
* Yourself: some days more than others
* Your friends: fa sho
* Santa Claus: if i say no i'll stop getting stuff
* Tooth Fairy: screw her....i had to get teeth pulled to get any real cash
* Angels: yeah...and tim salmon and troy glaus are my favorites
* Ghosts: ya...but you gotta watch out for them
* UFO's: Ugly Florida Oranges?....who doesn't
----------------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
* Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: nope
* Like anyone? yup
* Who have u known the longest of your friends: hmmm....i think it must be bart...but
i don't remember when i met everyone
* Who's the loudest: steve-o...no question hands down
* Who's the shyest: aparently its steve and/or hendo...but i say me
* Who's the weirdest: well it sure isn't me........
* Who do you go to for advice: miss manners
* Who do you cry with: i cry all alone...in the cold....and with a broken limb
* When you cried the most: probably when my dog died...that sucked
* Whats the best feeling in the world: fuzzy
* Worst Feeling: extreme cold
* Who will respond to this email fastest: me...cause i'm almost done
* Who did you send this to who wont respond: what?
* Who sent this to you: haha i stole it too
* Comment: he who is lost not only is lost, but doesn't know where he is or is going
Finishing time: are we ever really finished?
posted by Mike at 3:25 PM

Beef of the Day:
the 2003 calender that came in the latest issue of blender magazine, its got the
talent of christina, shakira, kylie, a couple random hot chicks that aparently sing,
sheryl crow and......nelly?....what the fuck!!?!?....nelly gets in and there is no
britney OR shania in sight....fuck you blender, fuck you large...peace i'm out
posted by Mike at 8:05 PM

Check some of this stuff out:
okay this one is for you hendo...you know for our trip to mexico
you know either way the're gonna riot
thats why i burn my exams outside
ha!...i had a salad yesterday
posted by Mike at 1:01 PM

okay well i've got a calculus test in 3 hours but instead of studying i'm
trying to figure out where i went wrong with the commenting on my site
oh well at least i got my computers assignment done last night...with
enough time left over for a couple games of euchre....i think i have a
problem...i can't stop playing cards...help me
posted by Mike at 11:20 AM

okay i give up fuck this junk...i had the comment link working, and being
the smart kid that i am decided to change it and now i can't get it to work
again....i hate computers...boy am i glad i have to work on my assignment
for computers class.....FUCK!!
posted by Mike at 10:30 PM

THE FUNNIES:

i actually cried laughing at this one

that was my interview technique that got me hired at lick's
posted by Mike at 1:50 PM

some fun reading:
Well Michael Jackson sure fits this study
This is the site for ultimate procrastination
Another example of how evil the food service industry is
posted by Mike at 12:45 PM

well that was a rediculous weekend....my cousin came up from macmaster
for the weekend and long story short it was the first time i puked in guelph
since first year....stupid cousin
even more fun than that though is the sucker that puked in my chem lab
tonight....honestly who goes to chem lab drunk?...and on a monday?...oh
well it was good for a laugh....i'm out
posted by Mike at 9:34 PM

damn that michael douglas

posted by Mike at 1:01 PM

just a few stories that amuse and confuse:
Protecting female drinkers with helmets

This calls for a Miller Lite

I'm seeing Dr. Hibbert on this one
posted by Mike at 12:28 PM

okay who wants to pool some money and buy this sucker?
posted by Mike at 5:00 PM

alright folks the moment of truth is here....i've got this site as close
to being done as i need for now so this is how its gonna look for a
while...not much happened yet today...i did get punched by some
hippy chick, that was cool...but unfortunatly not entertaining
posted by Mike at 4:12 PM

its pronounced 'awwfence' not 'o-fence'
posted by Mike at 12:53 PM

My Conversation With The Building Inspector:

Me: Sorry it took so long to answer the door but the lock is broken
BI: Really?...hmmm...i'll write that down
Me: So is today the official deadline?
BI: Yeah, I just need to take a few pictures so we can charge your landlord
Me: ok cool....do we get a copy of the report?
BI: ya i think so....has your landlord done any of the work?
Me: he put in that porch light
BI: (looks at porch light) was he gonna put a cover on it?
Me: I doubt it
BI: hmmm...ok i'll write that down too....did he put the railing and light going downstairs?
Me: nope
BI: the bathroom floor?
Me: nope
BI: the plumbing?
Me: nope
BI: what about the back porch?
Me: nah its still the same
Ian: and the eavestrough fell off at the back
Me: oh ya i forgot about that one
BI: hmmmm....that goes on the list too
Me: alright cool...do you need to take any pictures in here?
BI: nah just the roof shots are enough....thanks guys have a good day
Me: you too...seeya later (i then proceed to fix our broken lock)
posted by Mike at 12:37 PM

hahaha we should all smoke little kids
posted by Mike at 1:29 PM

Ok here is my Beef of the Day: The NHL All-Star Game Starters

it is unfortunate that the majority of people who voted on the starters were
uneducated fools, i mean come on who the hell votes for brian leech this
year...damn new yorkers....and untill that rediculous 7 point night jagr didn't
earn a starters position....and i don't have as much beef with khabiboulin
being on the team but not as a starter, the thing with the goalie situation
that drives me crazy is that Belfour got fewer votes than Irbe...Irbe for
fucks sake!!....i blame this all on americans....if they knew anything the
starting positions woulda ended up more like this (the way they should be)
in the West the starting forwards would be Modano, Nasland and Bertuzzi
with Lidstrom and MacInnis on D and Marty Turcco in net....the East
breaks down like this...Lemieux, Kovalev and Hossa up front with Kaberle
and Gonchar on D (man the east is weak on the blue line) and the Eagle in
net....that being said time for class...i'm out
posted by Mike at 1:15 PM