Happy Hallowe'en Everybody!

i've got my SARS costume all ready to go....its gonna be a good night, and a long tomorrow
BOO!
posted by Mike at 4:02 PM

I'm swingin, about to rip tha kizzerp, sippin on my sizzerp
If you buy a verse from me than you just bought a vizzerse
Swangers on my wizzeal, platnium in my grizzeal
Me and Doby D stay blowin on some kizzeel
I'm higher than a hizzeel, mind on a mizzell
Southside of H-town show me how you fizzeel

1 paper, 1 assignment due tomorrow, 1 episode of survivor and 1 hockey game on tv tonight
The shiznits about to hit the fizan
posted by Mike at 2:58 PM

yeek yeek mo'fucka goin 4 years strong
got plenty haters really wishin i ain't last this long
and please don't get it twisted i ain't hollywood yet
i just jumped in that movie to get a big ass cheque
posted by Mike at 9:29 PM

Hey Drunky, thats right i called you drunky, and there's nothing you can do about it cause i'm in my cereal box fort
posted by Mike at 4:21 PM

Top Ten Reasons Why Procrastination Rocks:

1.
posted by Mike at 1:53 AM

25 signs you've "grown up"
1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a
one of them. (my botany project died....fuck)

2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.
(i watch the weather channel....don't own an umbrella though)
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup
and breakup.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'
(how bout fuzzy pants and a wings jersey?)
10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids
next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.
(stupid cops)
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
(my family has been telling sex jokes for years....i think they're just sick)
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
(sun to wed 12:00....thur to sat 1:30)
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments
go up.
(bus, what)
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.
(i don't even feed myself mcdonalds)
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
(couches suck ass, the floor is where its at)
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

17. Dinner and a movie = The whole date instead of the
beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would
severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids,
not condoms and pregnancy test kits.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff.'
(where can i find this bargan?)
21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
(ummm, pizza pops, pepsi and/or soup are breakfast food right?)
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never
going to drink that much again."

23. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is
for real work.
(hahaha i don't even know what real work feels like.....aside from painful)
24. You don't drink at home to save money before going
to a bar.

25. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't
apply to you!
(guess i haven't grown up that much yet....shocking)
posted by Mike at 1:53 AM

just some sports oriented thoughts:

- a partiots 9-3 win is still a win....but damn it was ugly
- a complete game shutout to win the series is just amazing
- looks like pitching CAN beat heart....thats why no one liked that kid on Captain Planet, heart is overrated
- mogilny comes back and sundin getts a goal, coinsidence, i think not
- its called a powerplay unit pat quinn...try to use one consistantly...and reichel and berg are alowed nowhere near it
- Brad Johnson and Quincy Carter, you guys let me down this week...might be time for a benching
- nba season starts this week, this year garnett wins the mvp...shoulda got it last year too....and bosh is gonna win the rookie of the year
- how'd you like the minors cujo? want to try it with the big club, you beat nashville convincingly on thursday and you'll be wearing a new jersey inside of a week
- congrats to paul tracey for winning that race car thing....whatever it was called
- thank you joe horn, you're officially off my shit list
- and my 'booyeah of the week' goes to: Steve Yzerman, great 2 goal showing....quite simply the best...captain...ever....in any sport

peace i'm out
posted by Mike at 5:26 PM

"I'll hit a home run to left field like Carter did to philly,
do you understand me? nah, really?"

10 years ago today it happened

"touch em all joe!"
posted by Mike at 6:16 PM

well i'm quite the idiot, you see i've been sitting at my desk working on some fun genetics questions, when i get the great idea to lean back and use my bookshelf as a footrest, so anyway i kick out one of the shelfs and my movies fall all over the floor....fuck!

it did inspire me however to provide you all with this:
Mike's Top Ten Movies!!

10. Along Came a Spider
9. Meet the Parents
8. Out of Sight
7. Go
6. Zoolander
5. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
4. Ocean's Eleven
3. Snatch
2. The Rock
1. The Bourne Identity

hounorable meantions go to dogma, jurassic park and gone in 60 seconds

and just for kicks:
My Top 5 Worst Movies
5. Daredevil
4. The Score
3. Get Carter
2. The Peacemaker
1. Lost and Found
posted by Mike at 6:50 PM

you're fucking kidding me right?!?!
hatcher out for 6 months?!
fuck fuck fuck!
hmmmm, maybe get a defenceman for cujo?.....nah i want another goal scorer
fuck! what a great way to start the season

p.s. FUCK!!!
posted by Mike at 3:07 PM

just saw the dallas stars new third jersey and it was breathtaking (and i mean that in the way it was used in an old seinfeld episode....ya know what i'm sayin)
why do teams do this?! (yeah i know its all about the money), but fuck who wants to wear something that looks like someone yaked on the logo
the minnisota wild however went the retro look on their third jersey and it actually looks pretty good....i still prefer the original
and the award for the worst third jersey in the league goes to:.....the boston bruins and their winnie the pooh, urine yellow jerseys

ok thats enough venting for now....time to go write a forestry midterm
posted by Mike at 12:26 PM

the curse strikes again!!
now i know that its easier to coach/manage/yell from my couch than it is in the situation in the dugout........but....i would have pulled pedro, prior and wood in all of those games before they blew up, you could just see it comming in every one of those games
oh well, GO MARLINS!
posted by Mike at 9:54 AM

love 4-on-4 overtime.....damn thats entertaining stuff
posted by Mike at 10:12 PM

botany midterm in T-11 hours.....time to engage in some primal scream therapy
posted by Mike at 10:57 PM

no matter how shitty my life can seem sometimes, i'm glad i'm not this guy
posted by Mike at 4:44 PM

ok this time lets try some movie quote identification:

1) "your best? losers whine about their best, winners go home and fuck the prom queen"

2) "hey baby, baby ever had sex with a fat man in an overcoat?!"

3) "you're dead to me boy, you're more dead to me than your dead mother"

4) "the sign says 'shut the fuck up' or can't you read?"

give me the speaker and the movie it comes from, and you win a thumbs up from me
posted by Mike at 9:14 PM

anyone else out there regularly watch jeopardy?
i've found myself being hooked on it, and the latest guy on a winnnig streak is up to over $100,000!!
and i like most people who watch it on tv think i could dominate those smart asses (minus art/american history questions)
posted by Mike at 9:08 PM

who is the new disney master?....yeah its me, had a good thanksgiving weekend, spent most of it trying to keep my 2 year old cousin out of trouble....and what is the easiest way to keep him occupied, thats right disney movies
so over the span of of a couple of days i was able to watch toy story 2, the lion king, alladin (twice), lilo and stitch, snow white, cinderella (4 friggin times) and piglets BIG movie.
So i decided that as i have grown into a wiser and more mature version of the me that watched these movies so many years ago it was time to re-evaluate:

Toy Story 2: quality film, how can you not be impressed by the graphics...my only problem is that i keep seeing tim 'the toolman' taylor and the tom hanks character from castaway doing the voices...oh yeah and newman from sienfeld plays the voice of the 'chicken man' as my cousin refers to him
Verdict: 3.5/5 *'s

The Lion King: best disney movie ever, the only detractor is using that kids voice from home improvement....damn thats annoying....great animation, great story....and that friggin monkey (baboon) kicks ass....asanti sana squash bananna weenie weenie weenie wanna
Verdict: 5/5 *'s

Alladin: this was the best disney movie ever, till the lion king came out....it is also the exception to mike's rule of not using celebrity voices in an animated film, robin williams was made to play the voice of the genie, and that comic guy with the severly irritating voice as the parrot, whatever the hell his name is is good too
Verdict: 4.5/5 *'s

Lilo and Stitch: i had never seen this movie before and i actually found it quite entertaining, and i recomend it to anyone who hasn't seen it....and i'm not certain but i'm pretty sure that it was j.lo providing the voice of the mother, not impressed
Verdict: 3.5/5 *'s

Snow White: i think as pollitically incorrect as it is, dwarfs are funnier now then they were when i was a kid...the moral of the story is don't take candy from strangers....but what kind of psycho is gonna take a nice shinny apple from the most demented looking chick any kid has ever seen, for just being dumb snow white deserves what she got
Verdict 3/5 *'s

Cinderella: okay maybe its the fact that i watched this movie 4 times but ihate it, the step sisters and mother are ass-pirates and i would have burned down their house years ago and gone to find 7 migets to live with, the mice are funny but this just teaches kids to go and play with vermin, and i hate rodents so thumbs down
Verdict: 2/5 *'s

Piglets BIG Movie: who the fuck do these guys think they are?! making a movie staring piglet, hes the biggest loser of the bunch, it would be like makeing robin the star of the next batman movie, or nick cage the star of the rock....damnit this was the worst idea ever, i really didn't pay too much attention to the movie because i spent its duration focusing all my energy on trying to knock the tv over with my mind
Verdict: 0/5 *'s

okay that wasted some time.....back to the botany learnin'
posted by Mike at 11:23 AM

Happy Turkey Weekend Everybody!!!

peace i'm out
posted by Mike at 12:17 PM

Alright, 3 different songs 3 different artists....can you name them?

"You don't think i'm packed n' pumped 'cause i'm out the hood,
thats a stereotype like everybody thats black can jump,
I'm in the white mink the fabric is done,
got rings like mike, bird, magic n' 'em"

-Rapper #1

"My mind won't work if my spine don't jerk,
slapped garth brooks out of his rinestone shirt,
i'm not a playa just an ill rhyme sayer,
that'll spray an aerosol can up at the ozone layer"

-Rapper #2

"If the roof on fire then let the muthafucker burn,
If you talkin bout money homie i ain't concerned"

-Rapper #3

*1 point each artist, 2 points for the song title*


posted by Mike at 11:20 AM

Can you name the song and/or the singers?

"Raw and explicit when i spit it on the mic,
Old folks say: 'that boy needs the lord in his life,
Playa think you can face me,
but playa you must be crazy"

-Rapper #1

"(Stop hes killin it sombody call the cops),
Yeah call 911 and watch no one come,
Thats to show you how nice i am,
The fifth group russel signed to def jam"

-Rapper #2

"Weather i'm hot or not pigeons gonna flock,
They come get they wig done for diggin on doc,
Find me 'round an hour in the frozen foods,
Because i am so cool, cool, cool"

-Rapper #3

*1 point for each correct identification*



posted by Mike at 11:55 PM

my new favorite thing to yell at the tv during a sporting event:

"Hey (insert player's name here)!! I've got you on my fantasy team...but i'll never play you 'cause YOU SUCK!!"

thanks to HeadlineSports for that one
posted by Mike at 5:57 PM

okay its the eve of the new hockey season and here is how my other pool teams shaped up:

Tony's Pool:
LW : Paul Kariya, Henrik Zetterberg and Marco Sturm
C : Joe Sakic, Steve Yzerman, Pavel Datsyuk and Patrick Marleau
RW : Petr Sykora, Ales Hemsky and Adam Deadmarsh
D : Sergei Gonchar, Rob Blake, Kimmo Timmonen and Paul Mara
G : Dominick 'The Dominator' Hasek and Thomas 'The Goalie' Vokoun

Tom's Pool:
LW : Paul Kariya, Henrick Zetterberg and Sergei Samsonov
C : Peter Forsberg, Joe Sakic and Joe Thorton
RW : Anson Carter, Peter Bondra and Ales Hemsky
D : Chris Pronger, Rob Blake, Serdei Zubov and Darian Hatcher
G : Dominick Hasek, Thomas Vokoun and David Aebischer

Head-to-Head Public:
LW : Paul Kariya, Henrik Zetterberg, and Sergei Samsonov
C : Joe Sakic, Pavel Datsyuk and Brad Richards
RW : Teemu Selanne, Adam Deadmarsh and Ales Hemsky
D : Rob Blake, Ed Jovanovski, Chris Pronger and Paul Mara
G : David Aebischer, Felix Potvin and Curtis Joseph

oh man its gonna be a fun season!
posted by Mike at 5:51 PM

What do all of the following players have in common:

1999 - Eric Lindros

2000 - Eddie George and Tim Duncan

2001 - Owen Nolan, Mike Piazza and Daunte Culpepper

2002 - Marshal Faulk and Mario Lemieux

2003 - Michael Vick, Jerome Iginla, Miguel Tejada and Randy Johnson

2004 - Dany Heatley

Thats right its the EA Sports curse....can it not be stopped?!?!?! and comming soon to stores near you....EA Sports NBA 2004 with guess who on the cover....thats right, Vince 'I think hes cursed already' Carter
just sumthin' to think about.....talk amongst yourselves

posted by Mike at 12:43 PM

Guess whos back,
Back again,
Mike is back,
Tell a friend.
posted by Mike at 1:32 PM